Tuesday, April 23, 2013

New Deutsche Telekom slogan

"Frankly, we don't give a damn", is their redesigned slogan.

They floated the idea earlier to lessen the impact. Now, they have made it official: land line/cable based internet access by Deutsche Telekom will be eviscerated to mobile standards.

You will buy a plan with a certain amount of monthly data, and if you exceed it, all bytes for the remainder of the month will be delivered at speeds last seen some time in the last century.

We applaud the effort of Team Telekom to take up the fight for the top spot on the K-landnews shit list.

With the help of some of the 'roids left over from the doping scandal of their bicyle team, Team Telekom's teutonic males will succeed. Our current top ranked Hewlett Packard Ink Cartridge Blackmailers will topple like the third world dictator statues of yore.

After a lull in Team Telekom's nefarious activities, we expect to see the end of the internet as we know it, the road to Germany's economic irrelevance paved by courageous sawed-off cable wielding brutes.

Deutsche Telekom owns so much of the telecom infrastructure that they had to be told to rent lines to other providers. And they have been plotting a reversal of their fortunes ever since.

Their first attempts, still tainted by company-wide spying on their employees, went like this: telephone service is a metered service, there is no reason to treat the internet differently!

It's as if some ignoramus in the early days of the movies had said: we have pictures, you can take one very two minutes, who in the world would want to take 25 pictures a second? You can't even look at each one individually!

Do you personally know a big international internet company?

If the answer is yes, tell them millions of  German customers are pissed off at Deutsche Telekom and are willing to give anybody, really anybody, a chance who won't try to fuck them over for a few years.



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