Thursday, April 18, 2013

homo teutonicus simplex II

100 years of stellar accomplishments to celebrate the NO on the quota vote. Reason has won the day. Women can wait another 20 or 40 years, they live longer than males anyway, so what's the rush, ladies?

The humble blogster would like to remind our dear readers that we will claim our share in the defeat of the quota for women in the executive jobs of large publicly traded companies. We'll claim it when we feel like it - right now we just celebrate. Read up on our efforts in "homo teutonicus simplex" and "First they came for my penis".

Here is a list of historic accomplishments of "simplex" as a heartfelt thank you for following their conscience.

It is the year 1913. Simplex suppresses a commemoration of an uprising 50 years earlier against the Russians in Posen (now Poland) and nixes once again the call for a universal right to vote. Simplex expands the armed forces after consulting fortune tellers.

1914 - 1918: Simplex gets to do what he loves best, beat up social democrats and go to war. Millions will die for honor and country, helped along by chemical engineers who bring us deadly gas and great fertilizer. The fertilizer scientist was a German Jew, didn't help him in the end.

It would be "a disaster for the family" if women had the vote, so it is rejected once more in 1917.

Oh, and they do fly a bombing raid on London but decide at the last moment that leaflets with "We'll be back" wouldn't look too good.

1918 - 1933: Simplex takes a break from war, certain that the valiant military was not defeated by the other guys but by the politicians back home (read social democrats and commies). The emperor, the Simplex in Chief, splits for retirement in Holland. Women somehow get the right to vote, and the three tier system for males goes away. There is upheaval, murders, revolutions left, right (mostly), and center, hyperinflation (a wheelbarrow full of money for a loaf of bread).

Still, simplex manages to hold on through a historic stock market crash, huge unemployment and a bleak general outlook.

At some point during that period, simplex takes on the role of the sorcerer's apprentice. Fighting a little red smoke with a great big bonfire, simplex supports the guy with the mustache who has been getting votes in elections.

1933 - 1945: After the lazy Roaring Twenties, simplex takes up exercising - mostly involving repeated vigorous lifting of the outstretched right arm. Simplex also hits the books, or rather the convoluted tome of the guy with the square mustache. With renewed hope and  intellectual enlightenment from reading, simplex takes to burning down synagogues and to the most evil Tag-you're-it. The rest is history, as they say.

1945 to today: Simplex splits up into two countries (plus odd Berlin) and starts getting his act together under the watchful eyes of the guys that really kicked his butt this time.
Simplex builds up the countries and has lots of babies. In the process of social evolution, the gene pool of the pre-1945 simplex shrinks while money making genes become more widespread in the general population.
Eventually, simplex gets a unified country back, and social evolution begins to taper off.

18 April 2013: Simplex defeats the quota vote brought before parliament, saving the German economy from a few dozen women, thus narrowly averting the end of Germany as we know it.

[TBD: insert end of history blurb here].

One more thing: the vote it this afternoon, but we have complete faith in the coalition of the unwilling. So, here we go.


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