The new Comedy Channel show "Drunk History" is plugged to viewers with the tag line 'it doesn't get any better than that'. We think their tag line is applicable to the wider world.
The fever pitch clusterfuck (sorry to our more sensitive readers) that is the Syria debate has achieved one thing in the German media, and we can tell you now:
Homo Teutonicus Simplex is hacking away on the keyboard like mad. Or maybe not just like mad?
Oy, if you are not a German reader, don't get too comfy, we are equal opportunity word snipers, but for now relax while we praise Homo Teutonicus Simplex once more.
Today's installment is: Simplex does foreign policy.
For at least one generation, Germany has seen discussions about its role in the modern world. There is a large contingent of Teutonicus Simplexes who would like to see Germany's role go beyond what they call "Nothing but words" (an article in Zeit online today, in German).
The snickering phrase "foreign policy by check book" has been used by Teutonicus to describe German foreign policy ever since the country recovered from and got rich after World War II. Teutonicus Simplex does not like playing with toy guns, made out of wood for environmental reasons, while the allies get to play with the real thing.
Teutonicus misses the thrill of using guns instead of just selling them around the world for others to use.
While the aforementioned article's title "Nothing but words" is a clear enough indication of the contents, the two pager also contains the little phrase "Deutschland hat sich im 20, Jahrhundert zweimal verhoben", which we translate way too nicely as Germany got it wrong twice in the 20th century. The word "verhoben" in fact refers to weight, it means lifting weight outside of your class or lifting weight in such a clumsy way that you injure yourself.
Our gut reaction to the phrase was to remind readers once again where the Neanderthal region is located but it would be a total insult to the civilized people of the Neanderthal.
Teutonicus Simplex has not learned a thing. After the fuckup of the spiked helmet brigade followed by the square mustache and unspeakable genocide, Teutonicus Simplex apparently wants to banish the peaceful downfall of the Iron Curtain into the Aberrations of History section.
Is Teutonicus a victim of male suggestibility?
We gleaned this term from a BBC documentary on the effects of sensory deprivation, which indicates that males of the homo species can be influenced more easily after even slight deprivation, such as not getting a beer on time. Unlike the females of homo sapiens, by the way.
Luckily, we did a post yesterday about violence being a choice, and we'll judge you by your actions, not your words.
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